#source: incorrect quotes ideas

[incorrectbatfam]

Jason: *dies again*

Tim: Timer starts now! When is he coming back? I say two months.

Stephanie: Bullshit. One month.

Cassandra: Nah, half a month.

Dick, sobbing: WHAT ARE YOU DOING? JASON JUST DIED!

Damian, scratching his chin: One week.

[definitelyincorrect]

Tony: Why did you get here so late?

Harley: Well…

Peter: We were in the elevator for fifteen minutes panicking thinking we were stuck

Harley: Only to find out that neither of us pushed the button.

[incorrect-agatha]

Agatha: Rule one of witchcraft, use whatever tools or tricks necessary to stay ahead of everyone else.

Agatha: Rule two, never give out information for free.

Agatha: Rule three, while teamwork is required to get to the Road, you should otherwise handle things yourself. Do you understand all of this so far?

Billy, writing “gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss” in his tiny notebook: Yup, makes perfect sense.

[were-wolverine]

batfam and the JL as incorrect quotes

*in the batmobile*

Robin (12 y/o Dick Grayson): Have I ever told you how much I love you?

Batman: We are not stopping at McDonald's.

Robin: This is bullshit.

***

Tim: I have an idea. It's deceptive and borderline unethical.

Damian: I'm listening.

***

*at a gala*

10 y/o Dick, to Lex: It was nice meeting you!

Bruce: No, it wasn't.

Dick: We hate you!

***

Batman: What's the point of all of this?

Red Hood: Revenge!

Batman: The best revenge is living well.

Red Hood: Well, there's no chance of that.

***

Tim: So, what’s the plan?

Steph: I don’t know. You’re smart, Damian is mean, come up with something.

***

Bruce: YOU MEAN A LOT TO ME!

Clark: Wh-

Bruce: YOU'RE ESSENTIAL TO MY EXISTENCE!

Clark: Why are you screaming?!

Bruce: I HAVE DIFFICULTY EXPRESSING MYSELF! IT HELPS TO SAY SENTIMENTAL THINGS IN AN AGGRESSIVE TONE!

Clark:

Bruce: I FUCKING LOVE YOU!!!

***

Dick, cradling Wally’s face lovingly: Hey. I spilled superglue on my hands.

***

*at the Watchtower*

Green Lantern (Hal Jordan): Is Batman… laughing?

Flash (Barry Allen): *nods*

Green Lantern: I’ve never been more scared in my life.

***

Jason: I know we’ve always had this unspoken rivalry.

Tim: Not a rivalry, you’re just always mean to me. And not unspoken, you talk about it all the time.

***

Harley Quinn: I did it for love!

Nightwing: Cool motive, still murder.

***

Harley: I’m not a thug, I’m a law abiding citizen!

Signal: Okay, then name one law.

Harley: Don’t kill people.

Signal: That’s on me, I set the bar too low.

***

Cass: I was thinking about how I’d make the perfect American president, based on my skill set, dance ability, and blood lust.

***

Dick: Tim, please keep an eye on Damian today. He’s gonna say something to the wrong person and get himself punched.

Tim: Sure, I’d love to see Damian get punched.

Dick: Try again.

Tim: ….I will stop Damian from getting punched.

***

*after a JL meeting*

Batman: Flash, can I speak to you for a minute.

Flash (Wally West): Oooooh, someone’s in trouble!

Batman:

Flash: It’s me. I don’t know why I did that.

***

Hal: And, once again, Green Lantern and the Flash save the day!

Diana: You didn’t do anything. It was all Barry.

Hal: We’re a package deal. Everyone knows that.

***

Nightwing and Red Hood: *looking at a suspicious stain*

Red Hood: Gasoline? I’m pretty sure that’s water. Well, only one way to tell.

Red Hood: *lights a match and sets the stain on fire*

Nightwing: There were definitely more ways to tell!

***

Bruce: I tried to acknowledge her feelings. It wasn’t easy. There were a lot of them.

[earlier that day]

Selina: I’m just so confused- Are you… are you climbing out the window?

Bruce: *halfway out the window*

Bruce:

Bruce: No.

***

*at a bar*

Jason: Thanks for the advice. I gotta go.

Roy: Um, aren’t you forgetting something?

Jason:

Jason: *hesitates before awkwardly kissing him on the forehead*

Roy: No! Pay your bill! Damn, who raised you?

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Clint: That’s a pretty rock.

Y/N: Natasha gave it to me.

Natasha: I threw it at you.

Y/N: She’s very sweet.

[nightthief200]

Jason: *Stubs his toe* FUCK!

Bruce: Mind your language!

Jason: What else am I supposed to say, “Woe is I”???

Bruce: …

Jason: You have to accept that swear words are necessary sometimes.

[rosedforbes]

[sitting in jail]

Caroline: so... who should we call?

Kol: I'd call Nik, but I feel safer in jail.

[welcomehomeincorrectquotes]

Howdy: *has just sold Sally another batch of Bouncy Yellow Bread*

Frank: *was watching in disbelief* I’m genuinely surprised you haven’t gotten arrested. Let alone gotten a felony yet.

Howdy: NAT 20 Charisma.

Frank: That is NOT how that works!

[the-black-bulls]

Asta: Can you come out to my squad? I want to introduce you to them!

Yuno: Hm, okay, gimme an hour.

[later]

Yuno: [stands nervously in front of the bulls]

Yuno: ....Hi, I’m ace.

Asta, softly: Yuno that's not—

[lesbianpepsi]

Enid: Hey, Willa, what do you think it would be like if we had kids?

Wednesday: What would it be like? Inconvenient, mostly.

Enid: No, I mean, what would they be like, the kids? You ever think about it?

Wednesday: Can't really say I have.

Enid: You know, for someone as eccentric as yourself, you can be boring as fuck sometimes.

Wednesday: Sorry, Enid. For what it's worth, I'm picturing them now. A boy and a girl. Two perfect little freaks of nature raised by people who've clearly got no business bringin' up anybody.

[l3viat8an]

MC:*On the phone with Solomon* Yeah, they're fighting again but, personally I think a little sibling rivalry is perfectly nor-

*Satan, Mammon & Belphie walk by with their arm fulls of swords, pick axes, spears & rope* 

MC:-mal...Sorry, Solomon I gotta go! *Hangs up on Solomon and starts running after the brothers* WHAT ARE YOU 3 DOING!!??

[incorrectbatfam]

Bruce: Tim, we need to talk about your last will.

Tim: What about it?

Bruce: Well, the fact that you wrote a will.

Bruce: Also, the only thing you wrote was "bury me with seven extra bones to fuck with the archaeologists lmao."

[indigosabyss]

[driving home from a mission] Kamala: We’re kind of missing something, guys. Miles: Cohesion? Viv: Teamwork? Sam: A general sense of what we’re doing? Kamala: And Scott is not here. Amadeus, casually: Oh that, yeah.

[incorrect-agatha]

Lilia: I have cat-like reflexes.

Alice: Prove it.

Lilia, pointing to a cat: I like that cat.

[were-wolverine]

Peter B: We have fun, don’t we Miguel?

Miguel: I have never been more stressed out in my entire life.

[incorrectquotesmcu]

Bucky: How did you know I was going to propose?

Steve: Thor hasn’t been able to look at me without crying of happiness all week.